cravings

this post includes discussion of piss play in case you wanna skip it

i've been in a strange mood lately. i have not been pursuing many hookups nor my regs that often.   i've been feeling a little bored i believe.

i was feeling like i wanted something different. something i haven't done before. i don't know exactly what though

so i got on the sites and changed my profile a little

this led me to consider doing some things i've never done before....

i started chatting with this guy who is very into bdsm.  never been with a trans guy before though.  we are talking about what he is into and what i am willing to do.  then we start talking about water sports (pee play).  i have never done this before and do not want to, to each their own yuh know, its just not my thing.  a good number of guys have asked before and i've always said no.

to this dude i say no i'm not interested.  he say's too bad it could be really hot to pee on you.  he says i would pick you up and put you on your knees in my tub.  have you look up at me as my piss streams down your body.  then let you suck my cock while ur still covered in my piss.  in that moment, i think that actually does sound kind of hot and i tell him that.  we move to arranging a time to meet.  it doesn't work out on his end and later on as i'm thinking about it i wonder if i really want to.  as of writing this i'm still unsure. 

later that day, i've had a small number of offers but not what i'm craving though i'm not even sure what it is i'm craving.  I figure i will know it when i see it.  I have kind of given up on anything interesting coming through when i get hit up by this guy, guy of color, his profile pic is a humongous cock, like seriously huge, frightenly so.

he says he's in town visiting with 3 friends and if i'm into group. ok cool. this is exactly what i was looking for.

i do my usual trans 101. he says cool and emails me pics of the other dudes. they are all equally huge guys, muscular, big guys with huge cocks.

so i'm a little scared but also interested and also a little skeptical. like is this real? so i consider it. the idea is very hot. however i've never done 4 dudes at once. and these guys are huge.

also these guys are big and muscular, they look like they were all former linebackers, clearly if the situation became unsafe there would be little i could do against 4 strong dudes.

however, maybe i just need to push past my fear, this is exactly what i've been looking for. so i consult my best friend.

who's first words are "what is wrong with you. have you lost your mind." he says "the answer is no. don't do it".  

and clearly he was right. i have never chatted with these dudes before. this was a very short exchange. so many things could have gone wrong.

i gotta figure out what this craving