Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Feedback from a reader

"First of all, let me say that your blog is AWESOME. You two are some kick ass dudes, your openness is blowing my mind and making me feel so much better about feeling sexy as a transman. Thank you.

I wanted to ask a question, if that's okay, and the question is: are all the guys you two hook up with interested in pussy?
See, I would like to have the sort of hook ups you two have, but having vaginal sex is an absolute NOOOOOO for me. I just hate it. No guy that wants to put his penis in that hole is getting in my bed. So maybe you guys could tell me, from experience, how that would impact my ability to hook up as a transman? Is the fact that I have a pussy the main thing that men who hook up with FtM's are looking for? Is that what they want? Or are they likely to be just as okay and just as attracted to having anal/oral/strap-on sex without my pussy being involved? Feel free to be honest, harsh even, I love the way you two do not hide the ugly facts of life" - Ren Ren

TQ's response:

Thanks Ren Ren for your thoughtful feedback. My co-blogger rarely does anal, which actually makes it harder to hook up with nontrans gay guys some of whom seem like they are afraid of pussy. In fact, he's been turned down a number of times by guys for this reason.

I've played with guys (gay, queers, and others who identify as straight) who are into anal-play and strap-on fucking. I know our stories on the blog haven't necessarily reflected these experiences, so we'll be posting more on these experiences in the future. In fact, check back Wednesday (January 5th) night for the first of these.


  1. Hey y'all thanks for posting this - I wrote a longish post in reply to this over at my blog. The URL for that post is , and I've included an excerpt below.

    "[W]hen I look for hookups I need to find guys who are cool with the fact that they are almost certainly not going to get to fuck my front hole.

    This can be difficult.

    In my experience, a lot of men (gay, queer, and otherwise) don’t see the point in having sex with a guy with a cunt if they can’t use it - or, put another way, aren’t interested in fucking a boy without a cis cock if they can’t play with a vagina instead. I get turned down on a regular basis because I don’t do front hole sex, by both pretty normatively-identified gay men and by queerer dudes; and some of the creepiest and grossest-feeling comments I’ve gotten from sites like ManHunt have been from guys who wouldn’t believe me when I said I’m really not into front hole and who insisted that they could ‘make’ me like it. [...]

    There’s nothing else useful I can really say here but that lots of guys are uninterested or obnoxious and lots of other guys are cool and respectful - you just kind of have to deal until you find someone who works."

    Thanks again,

  2. Hey cockwagon,

    first off, thank you so much for your response. this is exactly the kind of dialogue we were hoping for amongst folks in our community. much luv and respect for your response.

    we are both responding together to this so we'll try and separate our comments when needed.

    i identify as a total bottom and its interesting that we have had different experiences - i've definitely had guys turn me down cuz they don't want to pussy fuck and i don't want to do anal and you've had the exact opposite. there was a while where i felt like i had to do anal in order to hook up with gay guys even though it wasn't my thing.

    my co-blogger, identifies as vers however right now is in a bottom/pussy fucking mood. he gets hit up all the time by bottoms who want to be fucked. he actually has never had someone turn him down because he wouldn't do anal or because he wouldn't do pussy fucking. but at times finding tops can be difficult for him.

    its fascinating how all three of us have such different experiences.

    much luv,