drunken fucking

i've been known to have a beer or two in the process of a hook up.  i enjoy having a bit of a buzz while fucking.  i've also been known to get more than buzzed with some of my regulars, not often but every now and then, not quite drunk of my ass but definitely beyond buzzed.  this is something i only do with a regular.  i like to have my wits about me on a first hook up.  however, i just did this hook up and got totally hammered to the point where the details of the night are a bit blurry.  clearly this was not the wisest decision on my part and i am fortunate that the hook up was a good guy. 

this is how it went.  we had been chatting for sometime now.  cute guy.  usual chat, nothing special, hiv/std status, how we like to fuck, when we're usually free, etc.  we finally arranged to meet up at a local gay bar.  i very rarely meet my hook ups in public.  what's the point.  we both know what we are there for.  i'm clear that i am not looking to date i just want to fuck.  meeting for a drink or coffee is unnecessary. however i do it sometimes as i understand folks wanting to check me out before inviting me to their home.   

dude arrives.  he only somewhat looks like his pics, but he's still cute in a very faggy gay boy kind of way which i luv.  we chat some and realize that we know alot of the same people.  this never happens to me.  i've hooked up alot and there is only one other dude i've fucked where we actually run in similar worlds.  

i've finished my first drink and he buys me another.  good convo though not my usual hook up chat as we discuss what's going on in our circle of the world. i'm buzzed at this point.  we start making out at the bar.  its very hot.  i have always loved public displays of affection.  i guess i may be a bit of an exhibitionist at heart. at some point he orders a 3rd round.  we continue making out, i'm playing with his cock through his jeans, we are all over each other, oblivious to the rest of the bar.  its quite possible that there may have been a 4th round it gets a little blurry at this point.  we left the bar and walked/stumbled to his place.  we definitely got some stares which could've been cuz we were clearly plastered or cuz we are clearly gay - his arm around my waist and my hand on his ass....

we get to his place and he pours another drink.  he is clearly a hard core drinker.  we strip and fuck.  i vaguely remember it being good not great but good.  the details are very blurry.  i can't even remember if he came.  kind of think he didn't.  i also know that we mostly used condoms, emphasis on mostly.  he was pretty fucked up too.  at some point i must have fallen asleep, i rarely stay the night at hookups especially not a first time hookup.  woke up the next day still at his place, vague memory of him asking if i want to just stay over and me saying yes.  i have never gotten this fucked up with a hook up.  even with a regular.

i know that the fact that we know the same people made me feel very comfortable with him and i let my guard down in a way that i normally would not do.  thinking about it, i used to get a bit intoxicated at times with the other hookup i used to do who also ran in similar circles, i think there is something about the feeling of familiarity and maybe this assumption of great accountability because we run in the same worlds that makes me drop my usual guards in ways that i really don't do with any other hookups.  i know this is not smart, i run in a leftist leaning queer and trans world, and its not like this world is immune to domestic violence, sexual assault or just people being wrong. 

also i feel kind of embarassed about it all to be honest.  i believe i was a bit more plastered than he was.  i know we fucked but i can't remember how it ended, or if it ended... i have a sneaking suspicion i may have fallen asleep while we were fucking...  lol, hate thinking that i was a shitty fuck (clearly my own shit).