Friday, December 17, 2010

Manhunt and Adam4Adam

so my co blogger and i were talking about how we don't include in our posts the process of arranging the hook up so i thought i'd share what i do. this is just what i feel comfortable with, everyone has there own way, no judgement intended, much respect and luv for whatever folks do to arrange to fuck : ).

so to start i used adam4adam and manhunt alot. i've used craigslist in the past and gotten some good results, but i'm a bit lazy and craigslist is sometimes more work then a4a and mh. my profile on those sites explicitly says that i'm a trans guy however no one reads the profiles... i have a public pic up that show's some skin (no breasts or genitals though - i've heard mh and a4a will take it down if you do that, but i also know some transguys who have gotten away with it), its a torso shot, i've gotten much better results with that then when i had a clothed pic up. i don't publicly post a face pic.  again just my thing i know lots of transguys who post face pics. 

i very rarely hit up guys, i usually wait for them to hit me up, in hopes that they at least glanced at the profile, i'm all about efficiency and feel like if they're hitting me up its more likely to work out then the other way around - not into wasting time... and clearly not all of the guys on these sites are into trans guys. UPDATE - recently i have started approaching guys more.  basically A4A and MH both let you see who has looked at your profile.  so now if someone has looked at my profile and i find them interesting sometimes i message them before they message me.  i have gotten some good results doing this but have yet to close the deal....

when a guy hits me up the first thing i say to him is that i'm a trans guy and i explicitly explain what that means, that i was born female but now am a guy, that for me it means i'm on hormones and pass as a guy but i have not had any surgery, and i spell that out for them, i say that means i still have breasts and a pussy (i know that some trans guys don't use that term to refer to their genitals and i fully respect and get that, but i use it and i am totally ok with it).

in my experience either there is no response or the guys will be like yeah i'm into it/interested. expect a good amount of non response - that's the reality of the hook up scene especially for us trans and genderqueer folks. i have a friend, another trans guy who also likes to play, he gets down sometimes about the non response, but i believe you can't take that shit personally.

then there's some back and forth and negotiation - how much largely depends on the guy, my mood, his mood and sometimes just the time of day...

the majority of time i have to do some amount of trans 101, i'm ok with doing that, i know other folks are not - again its a personal choice.

almost always i say what i like to do and what i don't. i like to do that negotiation beforehand and not in the heat of the moment. and the online negotiation of that can be pretty hot sometimes... 

i'm gonna probably keep adding to this post so check back sometimes.

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